Guests at Elopements - Pros & Cons
For some couples, this is a super easy question to answer—and for others, it’s more of a debate. The truth is—an elopement doesn’t have to be just two people. You can definitely still have an intimate elopement experience and a day that’s fully centered on your relationship with your closest friends and/or family involved. And they can be involved as much as you want them to.
However, if you do decide to invite family or friends along, whether it’s just a celebratory meal, the getting ready portion of the day, just the ceremony, or the whole day, make sure they’re fully on board with your vision and understand that you’re not having a big traditional wedding—but a unique celebration that’s authentic to your relationship. Remind them that this is for you, not anyone else.
PROS
☑ CLOSE FRIENDS & FAMILY CAN WITNESS YOUR CEREMONY.
Some couples cannot imagine their parents, siblings or close friends not being at their wedding and that’s ok! A small group is fine as long as they are on the same page as you. Guests can be as involved as much as you want in your elopement.
☑ YOU CAN ENJOY A CELEBRATORY MEAL WITH THEM.
A lot of elopements with guests have them attend a sunset ceremony and celebrate with them at dinner afterwards. This is a great option if you want to spend the whole day with your partner, doing what you want, when you want, while still having a close and small group of people there.
☑ GUESTS CAN ASSIST WITH SMALL SET UPS.
If you are planning on having a dinner afterwards at your Airbnb, guests can leave after the ceremony, while we take your sunset portraits, and get a head start getting the table ready, cake ready, and/or chairs and tables set up.
☑ GUESTS CAN WATCH KIDS/PETS DURING THE ELOPEMENT.
Couples that have kiddos or dogs come with may want to have someone watch them during certain points of the day. Elopements with guests can assist with this!
CONS
☒ LOCATIONS WILL BE LIMITED
Your guests may not want to go to your dream location if it’s not easy to get to. Although they want you to have the perfect day, if they can’t access the location(s) to their liking that will hinder what locations you can go to.
Depending on how many guests you have it will also hinder accessibility to any parking lots, trailheads, etc..
Some of your guests may have bad knees or are elderly and you may not want to put them through the trouble to watch a small ceremony and take photos after.
☒ GUESTS WILL HAVE A SAY IN YOUR DAY
Just like they will let you know if they can’t access a location (due to willingness or accessibility issues), they will influence where you go and when you go. The more people you have the more accommodations you will need to consider like: taking time off work, transportation to and from location(s), lodging, flight times/prices, etc..
☒ FAMILY ISSUES
Bringing the “right” people to your elopement is crucial. Even though they are family or close friends, drama can still follow you like a traditional wedding. Things to consider are: Will everyone get along (i.e. divorced parents, different groups of friends)? Will your friends and family keep you as the focus of the day? Will they be more helpful or harmful to your day?
☒ COSTS
Just like a traditional wedding, you may feel entitled to help with finances for your guests if you are traveling. You may feel, or be influenced, to pay for lodging, meals, transportation, etc. which is what couples are trying to stay away from by not having a traditional wedding.
WHICHEVER YOU DECIDE- MAKE SURE IT IS WHAT YOU WANT
As you decide, remember that there are many beautiful ways to include family or friends in your “getting married” experience, even if they’re not physically present when you say your vows. There’s no right or wrong answer here as you’re following your heart. Don’t compromise. Don’t fall victim to expectations. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to have your day (that’s what big weddings are for).
