Top 5 Reasons Couples are Eloping in 2024
Wait, are elopements still a thing? Aren’t elopements a trend from COVID because they couldn't host their “real” wedding? The short answer is- elopements are so much more than that. In the 1300s, to “elope” meant that you would run away from your “master”. In the 1600s, the term “elope” gained a new and romantic meaning in which two individuals would run away and get married without their parents’ blessing.
We certainly have evolved a lot since those times but in a way, we have kept the nature of what it means to elope by replacing “master” with social norms and our “parents’ blessing” as living authentically. Now here we are in 2024 and it has taken a whole new meaning and the way we view it.
Over the last 4-5 years, eloping has skyrocketed and has now become a competing factor against traditional weddings with over 60% of brides considering to have a small and intimate wedding based on a survey in 2022. Couples, more specifically, Gen-Z and the latter generation of Millennials, are discovering that putting tens of thousands into a one-day-extravangza is just not worth it.
So why do couples elopes still have traditional weddings?
It comes down to 2 key factors:
What We’re Used To: Society still markets weddings as big, elaborate events with the unachievable label of “the most special day of their lives”. Movies, TV shows, and our friends from high school are all still showing the big weddings that also has an underlying message of trying to out-do one another. Americans are trained from a young age to go to school, get a degree, get a good job, buy a house, have a big wedding, have kids, have more kids, and teach our kids those same morals. It is easy for people to follow these steps as society makes it out to be easy and achievable; however, most people don’t always find this way of living to be what they really desire. We’ll get to that more later.
Parents/Family Expectations: Yep, mom, dad and your aunt Becky still want you to have the big day they always dreamed of for you since you were old enough to walk or had your first kiss. It comes from love and a place of genuine care but sometimes these expectations are too hard to refuse especially when your parents/family members are willing to pay for the things that they wants at your wedding. Sometimes these can even be selfish reasons they aren’t aware of by trying to out-do their friends’ kids wedding.
But over the years and new generations later, Gen-Z and the younger Millennials only care about authenticity. They are skilled/desensitized to know when they are being marketed to and have a keen eye for reading between the lines and finding out more information before making a decision. Millennials are also getting to the age where they may be at their second marriage and having another big wedding is just not a possibility anymore. The thought of having a custom wedding day that is true to who they are and that will not break the bank becomes more appealing to them each year.
This graph from The Knot (one of the best dependable sources on weddings) shows that they costs of the reception are increasing each year and the decision to have a destination wedding is staying steady. Here are the Top 10 Reasons couples are deciding to elope:
#1: Planning a Wedding is Stressful
I ran a survey of my past 50 clients over the last year and found that most couples choose to elope as they are in the middle of wedding planning. Who can blame them? The cost per guest of a traditional wedding is increasing each year, getting off work is harder for people so the wedding needs to be on a Saturday (there are only so many Saturdays in a year), and finding a way to pay for it all is agonizing. The days of having the father of the bride (FOB) pay for the majority of the wedding are left in the 80s.
Along with the saving for the wedding, you have to find all of your vendors (on average 14), pay for each guests’ meals and alcohol, send out invites, make a wedding website with a registry, plan or DIY decorations, ask your bridesmaids/groomsmen to pay for their attire, plan an engagement party, and dozens of other things.
When the couple starts to realize how much goes into planning, it triggers their flight or fight response and those who fly will become free. At that point they reach out to me and have decided that something smaller, a day for themselves and an unforgettable trip means more to them than a party.
#2: Want Something Small
After a couple starts to realize they don’t want to spend all of that money on one-day they start look at alternatives. Their first thought is to start cutting corners where they can and that usually starts with the venue. Although it sounds like a great option to save $10-15k on a venue in an outdoor space, it actually becomes just as expensive when you factor in everything you need to make a space work. You will need to count on increasing the amount of rentals you need for tables, chairs, heaters or misters (if necessary), covering for rain/weather (like renting a big tent), restrooms, and parking. It becomes exhausting just to think about it.
#3: Second Marriage
A lot of couples that elope have already been married before and did the big traditional wedding already. Couples that get married again want a different experience and put their money into an experience and adventure with their spouse-to-be. Eloping and going to a new country sounds exciting to them (and trust me, it is). I always like to recommend my couples to elope in a place neither have been before. I think the excitement of traveling and exploring somewhere new heightens the experience and makes the trip that much more special.
#4: Family Drama
Couples have shared with me that not having their family present would be better for them and everyone. The beauty with eloping is that you can invite whomever you want; as long as they share the same vision and understanding of your day. Because it is just that, it is your day. Another one of my couples did not invite their family to their elopement because they didn’t agree with them belonging to the LGBT+ community. Whether you choose to have family present or not, as long as it makes you both happy in the end then that is what is most important.
#5: Elopements are a lot less expensive
According to The Knot, the average cost of a wedding in 2024 is $33,000 with an average of 117 guests per wedding (uptick of $29,000 from 2023). The U.S. holds the highest cost for weddings over the United Kingdom, Italy, Spain, Canada, France, Portugal, & more. Zola (another dependable wedding source) claims that 27% of couples are paying for their entire wedding themselves with 60% of couples paying for most of their wedding and getting help from other sources. Gen Z couples are also utilizing their credit cards more than Millennials as the “buy now, pay later” services are on the rise.
To put it into perspective, the average price of a used car is $27,297, the average down payment for a house os $34,248, and the average student loan debt for a bachelor’s degree is $38,290.
What is the average price of an elopement? Let’s break it down:
Travel Expenses (flights, lodging, rental cars, taxis):
$2,500 for 2 decent roundtrip airline tickets to Europe
$2,000 Airbnb for 5-6 days
$300 Rental car for the week or private taxi service
Vendors (photographer, florist):
$7,000 Photographer (on average)
$400 Florist (on average)
Wedding Attire (suits, dresses):
$500 Tailored suit
$1,500 Wedding Dress
Total: $14,200. (43% of the average wedding in the U.S.)
